Bodie's Birth Story
On Halloween, I woke up a little after 6 to get in my morning workout. I was determined to keep working out until I gave birth, so I did a virtual BodyPump class in the garage. Then, we got ready for our fun school “field trip” to the pumpkin patch/sunflower field. I didn’t feel any different or have any inclination that Bo would start his arrival into the world later that day.
After our fun and warm morning trying to find the few sunflowers that weren’t dead, we headed home to relax before trick-or-treating. I was able to take a very brief nap while Luca napped and the kids had TV time. I was woken up by the loud Halloween spider on the house down the street that constantly annoys everyone. At least I had about 15-20 minutes of good rest. I noticed a few contractions that weren’t hard or long, but felt different. I texted Kyle at 3:27 pm saying I was having contractions. “Not a big deal but slightly more significant than normal maybe.” There had been a couple other times where I thought “Hmm… maybe this will become something” and they hadn’t amounted to anything.
I came downstairs shortly after to check in with Kyle in his office. Max had been checking to see if his arms fit around my belly for weeks and he had to check again. I had Kyle snap a photo just in case this was the last time he would check. Then, we had a super early dinner of leftovers before trick-or-treating. I had leftover buffalo chicken pizza from Flippin’ Pizza (my favorite) which just so happens to be the dinner I ate before Luca came into the world.
Thankfully, I pride myself on being a super organized person and had taken individual photos of the big three the day before Halloween so we didn't have to rush around before the big night! At about 5, we went out front to take a couple more photos and set out our skeleton with our candy bowl. At 5:30 we were ready to start trick-or-treating. Throughout this entire time, I was having the occasional contraction. They weren’t worth timing yet and I could talk through them, but I could tell these weren’t just Braxton Hicks. I would just casually tell Kyle when I had another one. I have never had a labor stop and then start again, but I never want to assume it's time until it’s super obvious.
I was pushing the stroller and trying not to make it too obvious that I was quite possibly going into labor. We were with a lot of our neighbors and even though they’re all wonderful human beings, I don’t like people being aware of the fact that I’m in labor until the baby has arrived. So, I was doing my best to play it cool in front of everyone. Occasionally, the contractions were a little harder to walk through. I would tell Kyle to pay attention to the kids because I couldn’t. At about 6:30, I had to go to the bathroom and I had finished my water bottle, so I was ready to go home. I walked back with our neighbors, Heather, Dusty, Zoe & Baby Madi, and Luca. I told Heather what was going on because she was my backup helper if I went into labor before my sister arrived, which happened to be the next day. She told me she would have her phone on her and be ready if I needed her! I was already starting to think this was it and my sister wasn’t going to make it, again.
When I got home, I went to the bathroom and noticed the tiniest bit of blood and knew he was coming relatively soon. I filled up my water and then got Luca all ready for bed. She had still been nursing at night up until the day before, but I told her I could not nurse her and just cuddled her. Every time I had a contraction and she would touch my stomach it was not comfortable. I still wasn’t in immense pain, but they were getting more intense. Kyle texted to see if I was okay and I assured him I was. They trick-or-treated for a bit more. I texted my sister at 7:04 saying, “I’m having contractions…Little bit of blood.” I figured she was asleep because she was waking up around 1am EST to drive to the airport to catch a flight to California. When I put Luca down and left her room, I called Stephanie at 7:29. I told her I was pretty sure I was in labor and she said something like, “Oh no!!” (Stephanie has tried to be at all my births, but has only made it to Luca’s.) We talked for a bit while I went to the bathroom again, saw more blood, and cried, again, because she was missing it. Kyle came home about this time to find me crying on the toilet.
After I got off the phone with her, I texted my midwife, Courtney, at 7:38 saying, “Hey I’ve been having some contractions. Home from trick or treating and when I went to the bathroom there was a tiny bit of blood. I timed them just a little while rocking Luca. Only about 30 seconds and about 5 minutes apart. I’m gonna shower, hydrate a lot and lay down.” She told me to update her when I was done, and I told her they were similar, maybe slightly spaced out. She told me to keep hydrating and we both hoped the baby would hold out until my sister arrived, but she assured me her Halloween festivities were over so I would be no bother whenever I needed her. While I had been showering, Kyle got the big three ready for bed and we told them Bo was most likely coming tonight. They were so excited.
Kyle and I got a few things ready, like the camera, the sheets, towels, etc. Then I got in bed between 8 and 8:30. I tried to take a photo of us and we were blinded by the flash. The kids were very sweet and kept asking how they could help. They kept asking if Bo was coming! Max and Micah rubbed my back a bit through a few contractions. I had to tell them not to touch my stomach because it hurt. Max helped time a few contractions on my phone. I would alternate between laying on my side in bed and going to the bathroom. I wanted to keep my bladder empty! Every time I went to the bathroom, there was a bit more blood.
At 9:48 I texted Courtney that contractions were getting a little closer and more intense, but they weren’t super long. I sent a screenshot of the latest contractions. I also told her I was shaking/shivering a bit. She replied that she thought she and Ceniza should head up and asked if I was having more bloody discharge. I told her there was not a lot of mucus, but more blood every time. She asked if I was having pelvic floor pressure with contractions, and I said just a little. She asked, “Do you feel like things are shifting?” I replied, “Possibly. I feel a little too with it between them if you know what I mean but I wouldn’t mind you guys coming I think. Little worried it might still be a while but I do keep shaking.” She said, “Ok, we will just start getting ready and head your way.” (Ceniza is another midwife. She and Courtney assist at each other’s client’s births and she had also been at Luca’s.) She informed me her ETA was 10:36.
When she arrived, she said “I just parked. I’m going to unload some stuff by the front door. How are you feeling?” Kyle read me the text while I was on the toilet again and my response was, “I’m feeling everything.” I remember feeling things intensely physically and I was getting pretty emotional about meeting Bo soon. I had always had a lot of emotions during my labors, but this one was clearly different. I had already cried a few times since the contractions started about meeting my rainbow baby. Throughout most of my pregnancy, I felt so guarded. I didn’t feel sure I was going to meet my baby. Around 35 weeks was the first time I truly thought about and spoke about labor and I will never forget Courtney saying to me, “You can prepare to meet this baby” at my appointment with her and I bawled. Finally being in labor was overwhelming in the best way. I really was going to meet this baby and it was the most amazing feeling.
I was still on the toilet when Courtney came upstairs. I was very happy to see her. I said I wanted to get in the tub if she felt like it wasn’t too early. With Luca’s labor, it was so intense so fast, I felt like I was in transition almost immediately. With Bo, I felt like I was “too with it” and aware between contractions that I couldn’t possibly be that far along. I didn’t want to do anything too early.
Courtney listened to the baby and he sounded great. Hearing his heartbeat was incredible. A little after 11, the tub was ready and I got in. I had Courntey take a photo of Kyle and I before things got too intense. We also woke up the three big kids and set them up in the bathroom on the nugget to rest and wait. Riley and Max both fell back asleep on the nugget in the bathroom, but Micah was awake for the rest of the time. We also set up the computer with Stephanie on FaceTime in the shower. She was getting ready to head to the airport soon. At 11:11, I asked Kyle to text Heather, asking if she could come over. We said it’s not imminent but I think it will be soon. I still felt so much more present than I did while in labor with Luca and was worried I was having people come too soon, but I also didn’t want it to be pure chaos when I wanted the kids to wake up.
While I was in the tub, I kept trying to switch positions in the hopes it would bring the baby down faster. I would alternate putting one leg up in a half squat position. I also got out once to use the bathroom again. I was determined to not let my bladder get in the baby’s way. Between 11-12, Courtney & Ceniza kept encouraging me to eat as much as I could. I didn’t actually want anything to eat, but I know it’s good to have energy, so I tried. Kyle gave me a bite of banana with peanut butter, but it had way too much peanut butter. It made everyone laugh how hard it was for me to eat. I also had some applesauce, yogurt which tasted so dry, and lots of water.
At some point, I said to Courtney, “I don’t think I’ll be having a Halloween baby.” She replied, “No, his birthday will be the 1st” because it was already past midnight, but I don’t remember exactly what time it was.
My water broke at 12:04. I asked Heather to get Luca and started talking to Max to try to wake him up because no one could get him up. I tried to get into a better position to be ready to push soon, I hoped. I knew Kyle didn’t necessarily want to get into the tub, but I asked him to please get behind me with his legs in the water, so I could have support and be able to sit forward in the tub more so my feet could have traction at the end of the tub. (This was something I learned the hard way during Riley’s labor.)
At 12:13 with a contraction, it sort of felt better to push, but didn’t feel totally overwhelming like I HAD to, which I have felt in previous labors. Looking back, it did remind me a bit of Riley’s labor because sometimes it felt slightly better to push, but not always. This will make sense in a bit. Courtney was so calming and reminded me to just let my body do the work and not to tense my body, but it was getting very hard to stay relaxed. I wanted him to come out so badly, obviously, but because Luca came so fast after my water broke, this seemed to be taking a very long time. Riley and Luca were watching this whole time, so sweetly. Luca also kept eating all of my labor snacks which was hilarious. Micah was on the edge of the corner of the tub watching. She was doing great, but was a little worried seeing me in pain.
At 12:20, I did something I had never done before. I reached my hand try to feel him and I actually felt his head. I burst into the strangest laugh/cry that has ever come out of my mouth. I cried, “Oh Baby, I love you so much!” Courtney told me to feel him come into my hand with the next contraction. He still felt a bit far away and Courtney said he still had to come down a bit and perhaps there was a lip of the cervix in the way. (Courtney has never checked my dilation because it hasn’t been necessary.) While having a contraction, I would either call out to Kyle or Courtney, wanting reassurance that they were there and I was doing okay. I kept asking Courtney if everything I was doing was okay.
At 12:24, while having a contraction, Luca said “Baby!” Riley: “Yes, he’s gonna come!”
At 12:26, I had a big contraction, “I’m pushing!” It was so intense. I screamed for Kyle and yelled, “He’s coming! Courtney, help me!” Did I mention it was intense? I semi-frantically said, “Tell me when his head is out. Tell me when his head is out.” I felt certain that it should have been all the way out. Courtney told me later that his head came out to his forehead and then he sort of stopped. This was a sign to her of what was to come. I didn’t know what was happening, but it did feel different because it should have come out faster. I think it took about 33 seconds from when I knew his head was coming until it was all the way out. It was 12:27am.
Courtney told me to take a deep breath as I was having a bit of a hard time staying calm. I panted, “I’m trying. I’m trying. I can’t. I can’t. I can do it. I can do it!” (I was psyching myself up!) Courtney had me scoot back a little and bring my hips forward a little to prepare for the next push. With the next contraction, I tried pushing again and screamed a bit. Courtney, the super hero that she is, calmly said, “Alright Sam, we need to get out of the tub.” I looked at her, feeling a split second of fear, “Oh no.” She said, “It’s okay” “Okay,” I replied, looking at her and shaking my head. “We need to get out of the tub,” she repeated. “You’re gonna stand right up.” “Help me,” I asked Kyle and Courtney as they helped me stand up and get my legs over the tub, all while my sweet little boy’s head was out between my legs. Ceniza helped me as well as Courtney instructed me to get on my hands and knees with my left foot up. “You’re gonna take a deep breath in and give me a push. Sorry Sam, lots of pressure.” Courtney had to reach in on either side of our baby because his shoulder was stuck in my pelvic bone. (This is called Shoulder Dystocia.) “Lord help me, Jesus help me!” I shouted. Courtney said, “Take a deep breath and push.” It hurt so bad and I was not quiet or calm at all, but I pushed with all my might.
At 12:29, Bo came out, Courtney caught him, and then slid him under me onto my padded gathre mat (just another use for that incredible product). She asked Ceniza to give him a breath, “resus” & instructed me to sit down. I looked at my little boy, and did in fact see he was a boy immediately, and said “Lord.” I didn’t have any other words, but God knew I needed him and he was there with us keeping my little boy safe. (In the background, you could hear Riley and Luca cheering that the baby was here. Max and Micah were watching with a bit of concern, but at the time I was solely focused on Bo.) Courtney told us they were just giving Bo a little help breathing. I told her, “I just need to touch him” and reached down to get him. She said, “Yes, touch your baby. Talk to your baby.” I started pulling him to my chest, saying “Bo, Bo, Bo” and she told me “He’s coming, I’m just going to keep stimulating.” She was rubbing along his back. “Mommy’s here,” I assured him. Kyle asked if I was alright, and I told him calmly, “I’m okay. I’m fine.” Courtney was still stimulating his back and said, “I just have to check him.” I told him, “You got it buddy, you got it” and then he let out the most beautiful little cry and I burst into tears. I hadn't been afraid that he wasn’t going to be okay, but that first cry is so overwhelming in the absolute best way. Courtney said, “Good job Bo!” and he let out another great cry. “Thank you Jesus!” I shouted, then looked at Courtney, “Thank you Courtney” I sobbed. Then, I turned to my amazing husband, crying, “Kyle! My baby’s here!” I was SO overwhelmed with emotions and so unbelievably happy he was crying, healthy and in my arms at last.
Luca and Riley were jumping up and down in excitement and Luca kept screaming, “Baby!” Micah was closely watching and observing and Max was not far behind, just a little out of his comfort zone as he told us later. I asked Courtney if I should get back into the tub to deliver the placenta, but she said we would do that on the bed. Then, I asked Courtney what happened and she told me I had a shoulder dystocia. I also noticed a ton of meconium. Bo had pooped all over our rug on his way out!
At 12:31, somebody realized Steph’s face time had disconnected, so Courtney called her back and we told her the baby was here! Then, I was helped to the bed to deliver the placenta. All the kids gathered around me as we stared at our beautiful baby boy we had waited so long to meet.
Courtney and Ceniza gave me some herbs to help with potential hemorrhaging, which has an increased chance of happening with a shoulder dystocia. First, they put a tincture under my tongue and it tasted like a disgusting shot. Then I drank some Chinese herbal tea that tasted like dirt, but I was happy to do it to avoid any dangerous complications or a shot of pitocin. After Micah, Riley & Luca’s birth, I had more bleeding than normal, so I had to have a shot of pitocin and it always made me so sad that I had labored and given birth naturally and then needed to be shot up with a drug at the end. Courtney knew this and had put me on an alfalfa regime leading up to labor. Thankfully, no pitocin was needed!
My placenta wasn’t coming out, so they had me get on my hands and knees and while looking at Bo, at 12:45, it came out. “Praise God” I said, feeling that beautiful, amazing relief.
Then, I was able to lay back down and cuddle my sweet little boy while all his big siblings looked on in awe and amazement. Courtney showed us the placenta, telling us which side was the baby’s side and which side was my side. Max said, “It's kind of weird!” Courtney also pointed out that this was the size of the wound inside my body, making sure the kids heard that part. This is one of my favorite things she has said to me about taking care of my body after the baby is born. She told all the kids that it’s really important that I rest and stay in bed. All four kids listened quietly. It was a miracle.
Around 12:50, he latched for the first time. Then, Kyle got our celebratory orange juice. It was absolutely delicious and well earned, if I do say so myself.
At 1:02, Kyle held his new son for the first time. All the kids were around him and Luca kept saying, “Touch! Touch!” Everyone was so excited he was here. He cried a little and Kyle said, “What do you think he’s saying?” Riley said, “He’s talking about his birthday!” Kyle said, “I think he said Go Phillies!” Riley laughed and Luca copied, but Riley was not convinced. “He hasn’t even watched them,” she told her dad.
(These photos melt my heart, seeing Kyle surrounded by his children.)
At 1:15, he nursed again and we all sat in bed as a family of 7! At 1:32, Kyle cut the cord. A tiny bit of blood came out and Micah said, “It’s gross!” Then we got ready to weigh him. Everybody guessed his weight and then we found out he was 8 pounds 4 ounces. Heather was the closest guess and Max was second. Then, Courtney completed the newborn exam and the kids especially loved it when she made Bo “walk.”
After the exam, it was the kid’s turn to hold their new brother. After much discussion, Micah was the first to hold him, followed by Max, then Riley, then Luca. Seeing each of them hold him for the first time was so sweet. They love him so much and were all so excited for him to arrive. It felt like we had all been waiting so long for this moment and it was so amazing. We enjoyed being together as a family, admiring our newest addition. Then Kyle put Luca to bed as we were wrapping things up with Courtney.
Heather went home around 2:30 and we thought Riley went to sleep, but after Courtney went over all the postnatal and newborn care information and then left, Riley popped back into our room. After 3:30, the big three finally left our room to go sleep in the playroom. Max came back a few times and kept saying, “I just don't want to leave Bo!” It is so sweet and beautiful how much they all love him. Then, Kyle settled into bed and I laid there, in Heaven, holding my new son who was safe and sound in my arms. I couldn’t believe he was here. For one, I was preparing to not go into labor until around 41 weeks. Secondly, after losing Winter, it felt so miraculous that I was holding our new baby, here, in my arms. At some point before going to sleep, I told Kyle that I wish we were holding our lost baby, but that Bo felt like a gift from him/her because without that loss, this child wouldn’t be here. It’s a very bittersweet, heartbreaking feeling knowing that without that loss, this child wouldn’t exist. It’s hard to feel okay about it, but I am so grateful for Bo and for his beautiful life. His birth gave me peace that I had been missing and made me feel like I could breathe again.
As I drifted off to sleep, I had never felt happier, or more content and like myself. I was a mother to 5 beautiful babies here on Earth with a special angel baby watching over us all in Heaven.
To my SuperHero Midwife, Courtney, I cannot thank you enough. Thank you for walking alongside me as I navigated a pregnancy after loss. Thank you for encouraging me, helping me and for not thinking I was crazy as I sobbed through labor. Thank you for safely and calmly delivering our son. You are the actual best.
Heather, thank you for stepping in and helping us when Bo surprised us with an early entry into the world. You’re the best neighbor and friend anyone could have, seriously. Sorry and you’re welcome for the show. :) I’m so grateful for you and our friendship.
Stephanie, I am sorry you missed another one. Thank you for trying your best to be there and for being my facetime doula once again. Thank you for the excellent postnatal care I have come to depend upon. I’m so glad you’re my sister.
To my sweet Bodie, thank you for patching up my broken heart and filling our family with so much love and hope. You are the sweetest gift and the biggest blessing to us all. We needed you and are so grateful you’re ours.
Kyle, the word “thank you” is never big enough for you. You are my rock and I, quite literally, do not know what I would do without you. I love you more every day and am so thankful we have chosen each other day after day. You are the actual best: the best partner, the best birth coach, the best dad. I love you forever and ever and always. Thank you for all of my beautiful children in our arms and in our hearts.
Thank you, Jesus, for this new life, especially after loss. Thank you for protecting him while he grew inside me and on his intense way out into this world.
Bodie Maverick Burns
November 1, 2022 @ 12:29am 8 lbs 4 oz 20.5”
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”