Luca Joy's Birth Story
I had felt physically and emotionally ready to give birth for weeks. I do love being pregnant & recognize the true miracle it is… but the end is rough and I was tired of being tired. Everything hurt, I waddled like a penguin and missed having a lap. I was also so ready to meet my baby girl and hold her. I really, really wanted her to arrive before Christmas. There were a few random nights where my Braxton Hicks contractions would increase ever so slightly and I would feel somewhat hopeful that I might go into labor. Each morning I would wake up and I was still very pregnant. On December 14th my sister, Stephanie, and her family arrived. Steph, who was our Bradley instructor and doula, had tried to be at all of my births, but for a variety of reasons, she never made it in time. I was so thankful she was here before I had the baby, but then anxiety set in that I was going to be terribly late this time and she would either have to leave or not be able to go home for Christmas. Thankfully, I was anxious for nothing, but try telling that to a 39-40 week pregnant lady.
Anyways, on with the show… On Friday, December 18th, we invited our neighbors, Dusty, Heather & Zoe, over for pizza with us and the Atteberry family. I had a very strong craving for Flippin’s buffalo chicken pizza. (If you’ve had it, you understand.) My amazing husband lovingly obliged. Nothing during the day made me think I would go into labor that night. I had a lovely day. I was able to workout virtually on Facebook Live with my favorite instructor from my old gym. Steph and Kyle Atteberry took the kids out to the park for almost the entire day, so I actually got to relax a ton. I had lunch and baked cookies with Kaila while she chatted up a storm. I even took a nice long bath and read a book! I had no “feeling” that tonight was the night. Thankfully, it was. Sometime between 8:00 or 8:30 I had my first contraction. It wasn’t strong, but it did feel different than the Braxton Hicks Contractions I had been having. Heather went home to put Zoe to bed, but Kyle, Kyle Atteberry and Dusty continued talking about politics and jets. Stephanie and I started cleaning up and getting the kids ready for bed. I didn’t say anything to anyone for a little because I didn’t want to jinx anything. (How naive I was.) I had a contraction in the kitchen where the guys were talking and Dusty noticed and asked if I was okay. (My truly amazing husband was completely oblivious, but I still love him with all of my heart.) I just blew it off saying that I was fine and it was just cramps which usually go away. As I was getting the kids ready, I had a few more contractions. For a couple of them I needed to focus on my breath a bit and had to pause what I was doing. I remember one specifically when I was getting Riley dressed in her room and I had to stop what I was doing completely until it passed. The next time I saw my sister I told her “They might stop, but I’ve definitely been having some contractions!” I didn’t want to get too excited, but was starting to think that this might actually be it.
At 8:55, I was upstairs and texted Kyle “It could stop, but I’m definitely having contractions.” He asked if I needed him, but I replied, “No, but wanted to make sure you knew. Some of them hurt. Riley’s going potty and I’m trying to get her down.” I remember putting the big kids to bed and almost telling Max that I was having contractions, but didn’t want him to get too excited. Hindsight is 20/20, but I really wish I would have because waking him up abruptly proved to be a bit of a problem later. We’ll get to that… At 9:25, I texted Kyle again asking him to bring a few things upstairs and told him to “wrap it up soon just in case.” Steph had helped me get a few things ready too, like the video camera.
I took these photos at 9:28 pm and was definitely thinking “I hope this is it!”
At 9:46, I texted my midwife, Courtney, “Definitely having some contractions. I haven’t started timing yet, but I’m laying down now to see what happens!” She replied, “Ok!! Keep me posted, I’ll be ready when you need me.”
At 9:50 I texted Kyle again that they hurt and to bring up the exercise ball. Kyle came up around 10:00 with the random things I had asked for. I put on my birth playlist which was a mix of my favorite slow Christmas songs, including 5 different versions of Silent Night, and some of my other favorite slow/inspiring songs, including “Whisper” by Lindsey & Nick Mousetis, “Better Place” by Rachel Platten, “You Say” by Lauren Daigle, “Invisible String” by Taylor Swift and Walk in Love’s “Best Day with You!”
Between 10 and 10:20, I was lying on my bed breathing through contractions which were around 1 minute long and ranging from 3 to 5 minutes apart. I remember being surprised with how hard they already felt. I started shaking at some point and Steph told me later she couldn’t believe I was already showing so many signs of advanced labor so quickly. I went to the bathroom and hated how it felt sitting on the toilet. During the next few contractions, I tried various positions. I tried sitting on the exercise ball… I hated it. I tried sitting on the bed in a contour chair position… I hated it. I tried sitting backwards on the toilet… I didn’t hate it, but I definitely didn’t love it. Then, I tried the “labor dance” position, which is basically just standing with my arms around Kyle as he supported me and held me up. Steph was being an awesome doula, offering suggestions, but it just all hurt so much. Kyle would ask me questions about what I wanted to do and I remember saying “You’re asking me too many questions!” Ha! I didn’t know what I wanted, besides for this baby to come out of me. Steph asked if I wanted to walk because that speeds up labor, but I couldn’t imagine moving much besides swaying side to side with Kyle. I kept telling them “I can’t believe how much this hurts already.” I didn’t say it out loud, but I was a little worried about feeling this intense for hours still. Riley’s labor was only about 7 hours long in total, but feeling this much pain for 7 hours was daunting. There was little to no “amp up” time. It hurt hard fast. While in the labor dance position, I would try my best to relax during a contraction and just allow Kyle to hold me up, but it was really hard. He was great though and probably got quite a workout holding up my giant pregnant self. Steph was also pushing on my hips which relieved some of the pain.
At 10:50, Steph sent Courtney a screenshot of my contractions, which were getting closer together, averaging 2 minutes or so apart, but still weren’t longer than a minute. She asked if I was feeling pressure and said she was ready to come. They hurt like heck, but I wasn’t sure if I was feeling pressure down there. By 11:11, I told Steph and Kyle that I wanted Courtney to come. The contractions were short, but very intense. I just couldn’t get over the feeling that this was happening so fast, so I wondered how it could already be time, but I’m really glad we told her to come! During a postpartum visit, when we were talking about my labor, she told me that she wanted to come with the first text about my contractions and was literally sitting at home completely ready to go and waiting for the text. She was also so glad that I texted so soon after that she should come! (She had about a 40 minute drive.)
At 11:18, I got in the tub. I was a little worried about getting in too soon, but simultaneously felt like I was ready for it. I had one easy contraction while I was leaning over the side of the tub in a squatting position, and then the next one was awful. Kyle tried to put pressure on my hips. Nothing felt great, but it was better to recline back a bit with Kyle holding my hand. I was beyond thankful Steph was there for this labor because I couldn’t imagine Kyle leaving my side and she was able to refill my water, get me applesauce and help with so many things. They both kept kindly reminding me to breathe, and I kept saying “I’m trying!” It was so hard to relax and breathe properly. I felt like I wasn’t doing a great job because it was super hard to stay calm. Thankfully, Kyle and Steph were both telling me I was doing great, so we’re gonna go with their opinions here.
During previous labors, I would ask Kyle to take a few photos before I was really in the heat of things. That didn’t happen this time, but thankfully, Stephanie snapped a few pictures laboring in the tub with my amazing coach by my side! The third photo makes me laugh because the look on my face is so telling about how I was feeling… Super excited but in awe of the pain, so it’s a bit of a forced/awkward smile! Also, whoa belly!
At 11:56, Courtney arrived and I was so grateful to have her there. Physically, I still felt pretty terribly, as to be expected, but emotionally it was a huge relief seeing her. I remember thinking about whether I should have the kids woken up, but was worried about doing that too soon. (Silly Sam!) Courtney’s assistant, Cinisa, arrived at 12:08. At 12:25, Steph noted that she saw blood tinged mucus. At 12:32, Courtney listened to the baby’s heartbeat and she sounded good. I tried switching positions again and got on my knees, leaning over the tub. At 12:36, I didn’t have a choice but to push with a contraction and I felt a gush as my water broke! I screamed for Steph to get the kids! (This is the one thing about Luca’s labor that I wish could have gone differently. Looking back, I wish we would have gotten the kids out of bed much sooner so it wouldn’t have been so abrupt and chaotic.) While she was gone, I looked at Courtney and said, “Courtney, tell me the best thing to do right now” very seriously. I think I wanted to be in the best possible position and wasn’t exactly sure what that was. Courtney asked if I was comfortable and then suggested I switch to leaning back in the tub again because I told her my one leg didn’t feel right. I looked at her again and said, “Courtney tell me what to do.” During Riley’s labor, I felt a bit confused at times because I didn’t really have the urge to push, but sometimes it would feel better and I distinctly remembered feeling confused, so I think I was being proactive and trying to communicate, to the best of my ability, while in active labor.
At this point, Micah was in the bathroom, balling. Steph had gotten Max and Micah out of their beds, waking up Alton & Stellia in the process. This didn’t go over well for Max and he was freaking out and crying. He was thrashing a bit when Steph was holding him which caused her to accidentally bump Micah’s head into the wall. So, when they arrived in the bathroom, they were both screaming and crying. It wasn’t peaceful at all, but such is life. It adds a nice touch of comedy to the story. When I saw Micah, she had a huge knot on her forehead and she was super upset because she wanted me to hold her, which I couldn’t exactly do at the moment. Later, Steph said she was impressed with how calm I was seeing Micah balling her eyes out with a giant knot on her forehead. I didn’t see Max, but heard him crying. He was on the floor in the bathroom. Cinisa was about to listen to the baby’s heartbeat again, but I, not so calmly, asked her to “please wait, please wait!” because a contraction was coming. I yelled for Kyle to hold my hand and tried my best to handle the contraction. Micah was crying next to me the whole time, so I looked at her and said “Hey Micah, do you want to meet your baby?!” She kept crying. Kaila brought Riley into the bathroom at this point, and she calmly stood on the tub, watching and waiting. I called out, “Where’s Max?” and Kaila tried to get him, but he was crying, saying he didn’t want to see. I asked if somebody could push against my right leg so I could push better and my sister, amazingly and lovingly, obliged. She stuck her leg in the bath, pushing her foot against my foot. (This was another thing I had learned from pushing Riley out. It was hard to push, feeling like my leg didn’t have a strong foothold.) I tried my best to help Micah. I looked at her and in a very calm and serious voice said, “Everyone, it’s okay.” She told me later she cried because she wanted me to hold her, which I obviously couldn’t quite do. I told Max I needed him, but he wasn’t ready to come over. Cinisa listened to the baby’s heart again and she sounded good. Kaila was finally able to hold Micah and calm her down a little. I was having a decent break in contractions at this point, while trying my best to calm down my other children. (Being a mother never stops, even while in the second stage of labor.) Thankfully, between contractions, I felt very present and calm as I talked to the other kids. Steph said, “Girl you know this is love right here” and pointed out that her leg, jeans and all, were in the tub with me in all my glory. She also stuck the Go-Pro in the water for some underwater birth footage that I will not be sharing with anyone but my sister and midwife, ha! (It was pretty amazing though!)
At 12:41, another contraction came and I pushed with it. Courtney kept calmly reminding me to go nice and slow as her head was crowning. Steph said she could see her head and she had lots of dark hair! Kaila noted, “That was fast!” I could hear what people were saying to me while I had a contraction, but it wasn’t completely registering, so I said, “Talk to me.. what’s out?!” I was reassured her head was out and instantly felt so much better knowing one of the hardest parts was done. I looked up at one of the kids with a huge mile on my face. As I waited for another contraction, I tried to talk Max into coming over to watch telling him I loved him and wanted him, but he wasn’t having it. I reached down and felt the baby’s head and her hair! Courtney asked if I felt the urge to push, which I didn’t yet, but I asked her twice to tell me if I needed to push. I knew the baby would be okay for a little while with just her head out, but wanted reassurance that someone would tell me otherwise, which of course they would. After the fact, Courtney and I talked about this and she said she was never worried about how long her head was out. I looked at Riley with a huge smile at that point and said, “Riley Ryan!” and then felt another contraction coming, saying “Okay, it’s coming” and held my breath and tried to push as hard as I could. Kyle was right behind me, holding my hand and telling me how great I was doing. Courtney kept encouraging me, “nice strong push, nice strong push” and after probably 10-11 seconds, at 12:42, she came out. Steph and Courtney both told me to reach down and grab her, which I did! I pulled her up to my chest with a huge smile, immense relief and so much joy.
Kyle’s eyes were locked on his new daughter as we waited to hear that precious first cry and I whispered, “I did it.” Kyle was instantly in love and just said, “Aww…” as he wrapped his arms around me. I asked Courtney if she was okay and then said, “Max, Micah, Riley! She’s here!” I kept cuddling her and said, “Oh, she’s so purple!” She was, by far, my most purple baby, but we were all calm. She was awake, but not crying yet. Courtney asked if it was okay to give her a few breaths. She said she was good but a little bit stunned. I asked Courtney if she was okay a couple times and she was so calm and reassured me she was fine, she just needed a little stimulation. I wasn’t really worried and kept saying, “Everything’s okay, everything’s okay.” Micah was a little concerned and asked, “Courtney, what are you doing?” I whispered a quick prayer and Steph and Courtney kept telling me she was pinking up and was good and then she let out that beautiful, amazing first cry. That first cry is, by far, the greatest sound on Earth. Praise God! I can barely describe how elated I was at that point. Her APGAR at 1 minute was 5, then 8 and then 10.
My sister was taking a video on my phone from this angle and screenshot these photos. The first one if right when I brought her to my chest and the second is after that glorious first cry. They’re blurry and grainy, but two of my favorite photos ever taken.
Kyle tried again to get Max to come over to me, but he was still not ready. I was super excited, looked at Riley and said, “Riley! She’s out of Mommy’s belly!” Courtney kept stimulating her and said “That was a big journey for you and a fast one too!” We tried to get Micah or Riley to share her name, but Micah said, “Aunt Stephanie, what’s her name?” They were both being shy and wouldn’t share the name yet. She started crying a bit more and Kyle asked if we knew for sure she was a girl. We checked and confirmed. Courtney asked if I was feeling any cramps, which I wasn’t yet. After a few minutes, I started to push out the placenta. Courtney was starting to get a little concerned with my bleeding. We had talked about this before because with both Micah & Riley I was given a shot of Pitocin to help with my bleeding. She knew I didn’t want it, but would obviously get it if it was completely necessary. When she asked if she could administer it, I asked, “Do you think I really need it?” and knew when she said yes that I did. Courtney made me feel calm, but I still wasn’t thrilled. It doesn’t matter how many babies I push out, the thought of a shot still makes me way more nervous. Kyle was holding Riley and she said, “I love her!” Micah was pretty concerned at this point and asked me if I was okay and I was able to calmly reassure her that everything was fine even though there was a little blood. Then, I pushed part of the placenta out and shouted, “Praise God!” It’s such a relief. Steph grabbed Micah and helped reassure her that everything was okay. There was a little bit left behind, “trailing membranes” Courtney called it, so I got into a squat with the help of Steph and Cinisa. (This was part of the reason I had a bit more bleeding than is considered “normal.”) Courtney instructed me to cough/push and the rest of the placenta came out at 12:50! It felt amazing.
Micah was crying again and I kept telling her that I was good and didn’t hurt anymore and I was so happy! The poor thing just wanted me to hold her. Kyle brought Max over, who was still a little upset and shy. I told Courtney, “That was a little different than I expected, but such is life” and we all laughed commenting on life with four kids. Riley was asking what the placenta was. Max told Kyle he was worried about the baby and didn’t like seeing the blood. We tried again to get someone to share her name, but they were all being shy. Kyle asked Riley and she replied, “Riley!” I asked what time it was to figure out what day it was!
She was 12 minutes old, “Silent Night” was playing and I passed Luca to Kyle to hold her for the first time. As soon as I handed her over, I noticed Luca had pooped on my hand! The placenta was still connected to Luca and in a tray, so Steph helped hold that. Luca let out some nice big cries and Kyle jokingly said, “Aww, just like your sisters!” because I am definitely their current favorite. Courtney helped me out of the tub so I could sit on the side before I stood up completely. I felt really good as they helped situate me so I could get to the bed. This is the fourth time I’ve done this, but it still amazes me how much better I feel instantly after giving birth. I went from the most intense, excruciating pain to feeling refreshed and healthy as can be in a matter of seconds. It’s truly a miracle.
Once I was in bed, Kyle gave Luca back to me and Courtney and Cinisa checked my blood pressure, temperature and all that jazz. All was good. Micah and Riley were in bed with me and kept asking what Luca was saying anytime she made a noise or a cry. We talked about how fast the labor was and Kyle finally got Micah to share the name. Stephanie and Kaila “oohed and awed.” Steph shared that Kyle Atteberry had guessed it would be a “boy name” and he and Stephen even had a $5 bet on the matter! Riley kept saying, “Her come out?! That her!” When she cried again, Micah asked what she said, and I pretended to be Luca saying, “Do you guys have any idea where I’ve just been? I came out of Mommy’s vagina!” to which Riley replied, “I have a gina!” She even looked at her belly to see if a baby was there. The girls couldn’t stop looking at her and touching her. Micah touched the cord and declared it was “squishy!” Riley said “I love her. Her love me?!” Kyle was talking to Max about seeing the baby and me, but he expressed concern about the cord because he didn’t want to see it. They were talking about cutting it and Kyle compared it to cutting hair, so Max knew it wouldn’t hurt her. Kyle checked on me and we discovered that Luca had pooped on me some more. Max thought that was funny.
Finally, Max came over to see Luca and I started crying immediately. He was so sweet and happy to see her and touch her. He gave me a hug and I kissed him and felt overwhelming joy. Then, Steph brought us our orange juice, a Bradley birth tradition, and we cheersed to baby Luca! I still couldn’t stop talking about how fast everything was, how dark her hair was, and how amazing it was that we were already home! Micah asked if I was nervous when I was having the baby and I thought that was such a sweet question. I told her I wasn’t nervous, but that sometimes it was really hard, but Daddy, Aunt Stephanie and Courtney helped me so much!
At 1:25, she latched for the first time. Micah still hadn’t left my side and kept checking on Luca. After checking my uterus and bleeding again, which was all good, we got ready to cut the cord. We discovered Luca has a little birthmark on her toe that is shaped like a Christmas stocking and we all oohed and awed again. At 1:38 am, Courtney clamped the cord and Kyle cut it with Riley’s “help.” Riley was so proud of herself and she gave us high fives when she was done!
Kyle held Luca again while I used the bathroom and took a quick, but glorious, shower. Then it was time for the kids to hold Luca for the first time! Max got to go first because Micah was going to put Luca’s first diaper on. Micah was next and was instantly in heaven as she held her new baby sister for the first time. Max kept touching her hands and kissing her while Micah had her. Then, it was Riley’s turn. Luca cried a bit and it made Riley a little nervous, but as she calmed down she gave her kisses and kept touching her gently. We all cuddled on the bed for our first family photo of SIX! Riley asked for her again, which instantly made Micah furious because she wanted to hold her. There were a lot of big emotions coming out!
Then, Micah happily held her again and kissed her, a lot. Max had another turn and then we FaceTimed Papou & YiaYia. (Steph had tried to call them during labor, but they weren’t able to answer.) They were shocked to see a baby already and realized they missed the whole thing! We shared some of the birth story with them and then Micah put Luca’s first diaper on! She was such a proud big sister.
Around 3am, after Luca nursed again, it was time for Courtney to perform the newborn exam and weigh our little lady. I had a feeling that she wasn’t quite as big as Riley had been, but I knew she wasn’t a “little” baby. Sure enough, I was right. She was 8 pounds, 4 ounces and 21.5 inches long. After the exam, where she was as perfect as can be, Aunt Stephanie held her for the first time!
Around 3:45, the Burnses were starting to majorly fade. Kyle put Max to bed and Micah and Riley both fell asleep in our bed. Kyle eventually transferred them into their own beds. Courtney left around 4:30 after going over all the discharge notes, etc. and scheduled to come back the following day to check on us! Kyle and I “went to sleep,” aka, we took turns sleeping while the other did their best to stay awake while holding our precious Luca.
Even though I had been so ready for her to arrive, it still seemed surreal that she was actually here. I was elated to finally be holding her in my arms and smelling her heavenly baby smell. I was so thankful that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I had four kids and couldn’t have been happier! After a few hours of sleep, the rest of the Atteberry family met her and we shared the news with the rest of our family and friends throughout the day.
My first home birth was a remarkable experience, despite the immense pain and screaming from Max and Micah. I absolutely loved never having to leave my home. (The car ride to the hospital/birth center is one of the worst parts of labor in my experiences.) It felt so natural to be in my own bedroom and bathtub as we brought our daughter into the world. I can’t speak highly enough of Courtney. She is an absolutely amazing midwife. The care I received throughout my entire pregnancy, birth and post-partum was more than I could ask for. She is extremely caring and knowledgeable. She allowed and encouraged Kyle and the kids to be involved throughout the entire process, from the kids helping find the baby’s heartbeat at my prenatal appointments to being present at the birth to asking about our family as a whole during all of my postpartum visits. (And we never had to wear a mask… PRAISE GOD!) All of my births were seriously great and had little to no complications, but a home birth is truly something special. I give it a 10/10, would highly recommend... 5 stars!
Of course, I have to thank my amazing and selfless sister, Stephanie, for being an incredible doula and for traveling across the country with her family at Christmas time for me. She was great via FaceTime for my previous three births, but having her there in real life was something we had wanted so badly. It was like a gift from God that it finally happened. She was so helpful and I couldn’t imagine Luca’s labor and birth without her being there. Thank you Steph! You are the best doula/friend/sister I could ask for!
Obviously, none of this would be possible without the love of my life. Kyle- thank you for making 4 beautiful babies with me and for making us this beautiful life. Thank you for your amazing support during my labor and beyond. Thank you for holding my hand and letting me squeeze it as hard as I possibly could. I would have been lost without you and could never imagine being in labor or doing life without you right there by my side. I love you with all of my heart and always will.
And, my sweet Luca Joy, thank you for coming out so quickly and adding even more love and joy to our family!
December 19th, 2020 forever joins my list of the best days ever. At 40 weeks and 2 days, after only 4 hours of labor, 2 ½ of which were incredibly intense, and 6 minutes of pushing, my world was changed all over again and I fell completely in love with my Luca Joy Burns. She is the best Christmas present, ever.
