3 Important Lessons I Learned During 3 Years of Marriage

Kyle and I just celebrated our third anniversary, so I thought I would share a few things we've learned along the way. We are by no means perfect, but we do have a very happy and strong marriage, which is due, in part, to learning these three valuable lessons. We have the occasional bad day or argument, but we really don't fight often, we smile and laugh all the time and love each other every day. So whether you're married 3 years or 30, engaged or just living that single life, these lessons can help all of us be better spouses today or one day.

1. We're on each other's team.

When you get married, you will be faced with a lot of challenges both internally, between you and your spouse, and externally. Something that Kyle and I learned very quickly is that we have to support and commit to each other as a united team in face of all sorts of obstacles inside and outside of our marriage. The vows we took on our wedding day mean something and we make it a priority to honor and respect them no matter what. Marriage is about a husband and a wife loving each other unconditionally and putting each other above themselves and others. We are no longer Kyle Burns and Samantha Mousetis, but Mr. AND Mrs. Kyle Burns. We didn't enter into marriage lightly, but with the intention of loving each other and partnering together for the rest of our lives. There will be times when putting your spouse first will cause conflict in other areas of your life, but you made a commitment to each other and to God and you must honor that. Kyle and I have faced some challenges from external forces in our marriage and I can attest that committing to each other as an indivisible team has allowed us to have a strong, healthy and happy marriage. We cheer each other on, support each other, love each other, listen to each other and respect each other. We do not undermine each other to others. We do not allow anyone or anything to come between us. We are not individuals anymore. We are a team- and a pretty darn good one, if I do say so myself.

2. Just go with it.

Kyle and I are very different people. I'm organized, like planning and try to talk through things as much as possible before making a decision. Kyle is spontaneous and quite possibly allergic to planning. At the beginning of our marriage, this caused a lot more conflict than it does now because we've learned that there's not much hope in changing each other. So, we just go with it.

Because of Kyle's job, we've moved a lot and sometimes very quickly with little warning. We've also had some potential plans to move that have changed at the last minute, fallen through or been postponed. This used to drive me insane and completely stress me out. When we first got married we lived in Dallas for what was supposed to be one year and ended up being 3 months. I remember being so upset and worried about every little detail. Over the past three years, we've moved 5 times and with each move, I've let go a little more and trusted Kyle and our marriage. It might not be the ideal life and it would probably be really nice to own a home and settle down, but this is our season of life right now and that's okay. I've had a lot of conversations with friends and family and they don't understand "how I do it" and say "they couldn't handle it" (which I know they could), but I've realized the main reason I can handle it is because I have Kyle and he (and Max) are home and because I've learned to just go with it.

Is there something in your marriage or your spouse that stresses you out? Yes, I know there is. Is it possibly something that you can just go with it and learn to deal with? Hopefully. I challenge you to let go a little more, trust each other more and hopefully stress a little less.

3. Make the little things as much fun as possible.

I have to thank Kyle for this lesson, because he really does make everything so much fun. When you marry someone and start living together, a lot of things can easily become mundane, ordinary, boring and expected. It is up to you two to keep things fun. Commit and make a promise to each other to make everything as much fun as possible. I don't necessarily have a specific list of suggestions on how to do this because it's mostly about your attitude, but I promise if you figure it out, your marriage will benefit! Going grocery shopping can be a fun night out if you're with the right person. (Did I just giveaway how cool we are... Oh well.) Kyle and I have giggled our way through Costco shopping trips, assembling IKEA furniture, cooking new meals, watching shows together, etc. Actually, don't tell Kyle I said he giggled, he chuckled or laughed.. or whatever sounds manliest. Now, we've added Max to the fun and it just keeps getting better.

Don't expect every day to be fascinating or life-changing or filled with some new, crazy Instagram-worthy adventure. Instead, remember that you married your best friend and life is fascinating because you get to do it together. Your life has changed because you're married and you don't have to do it alone which is awesome. Remember that adventures come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes the best ones are the little ones that happen every day and could go by unnoticed if you forget to have fun. And guess what- you probably don't even Instagram those moments, but you should treasure them.

I don't think anything I shared is revolutionary or completely shocking, but they are the three things that stick out most after being married three years. I don't mean to brag, but I'm very proud of the strong marriage that Kyle and I share and I'm so thankful for it every day.

Happy 3rd Anniversary Kyle!