My Breastfeeding Journey & The Lessons I Learned Along the Way
In honor of National Breastfeeding Week, I thought I would share my breastfeeding journey and experience. Breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural thing, but that doesn't mean it comes easily. I would say it honestly took Max and I almost three months to figure that whole thing out, but I'm so grateful that we stuck with it because I have loved our experience together! So, while I know there are many challenges and obstacles to nursing, I do know that if you're able to stick with it and figure it out it will be well worth it! In the early stages, I remember thinking that I get why people stop and I was looking forward to being done, now the thought of not nursing Max gets me all weepy and sappy.
When Max was born, he did not latch immediately and didn't show a ton of interest in nursing. I was a little disappointed because I had heard all these beautiful stories about newborns latching immediately and finding their ways to their mamas, but that didn't happen for me. The nurses told me he had a lot of mucus build up which can make it harder for the little ones to nurse initially. When I think back to our time in the hospital, one thing that really sticks out to me is the nurses being a bit aggressive and overwhelming. This is not to say that they aren't wonderful, knowledgeable people, but so much is happening in the day or two after the baby is born that it can be a bit much. I can't tell you how many different nurses came in trying to show me different positions and grabbing me to "help" Max and I figure it out. A few nurses were quick to suggest I use formula and supplement which really upset me because I was determined to nurse. I ended up pumping once or twice and gave Max some colostrum through a syringe and I may have given him an ounce or two of formula in that manner too. Thankfully, my big sister was with me and was really helpful and encouraging. I mean she had done it 4 times before, so I was so relieved to hear her help and encouragement. That leads me to the first lesson I learned: Find someone who knows more about it than you do! Without her advice and knowledge in the beginning, I could see how easy it would have been to just give up. Her and Kyle were so amazing at encouraging me to not stress out about the nurses and the little issues we were having.
Over the next couple months, breastfeeding was definitely a challenge and boy was it time consuming! I was nursing Max every 3 hours, but it would take about an hour to nurse so I felt like I hardly had a break. He would fall asleep constantly or not seem to nurse long enough and it was tough. One thing that I think was a mistake, that would be my lesson number two: Don't time yourself! I had this app that I would use to time how long Max would nurse on each side. I was constantly starting and stopping it as he would unlatch, or fall asleep and I was always trying to get at least 15-20 minutes on each side. Looking back now, I realize that he probably had enough and just didn't need to nurse that long, but as a new mom I was trying so hard to make sure I was doing everything right. I didn't want my little baby to starve! Again, my big sister, the mama-saint, kindly suggested that I stop timing myself and just listen to my instincts and to Max. That advice was life saving. Not every nursing session needed to be exactly the same length and sometimes Max favored one side over the other. After I stopped timing us, nursing really started to click.
Nursing in public was another issue I had in the first few months of Max's life. I started with one of those traditional nursing covers that just goes around your neck and the flap hangs in front. I was never able to get comfortable under it because I was so worried about Max kicking or flailing his arms and revealing way more than I wanted to! I would often pump so that when I was in public, I could give Max a bottle and not have to deal with it. Then, I found an amazing nursing cover through Instagram and during National Breastfeeding Week last year, I made one of the best purchases of my life: The Covered Goods Nursing Cover This is important breastfeeding lesson number three: Invest in a great nursing cover. I have comfortably used this nursing cover EVERYWHERE: at restaurants, on airplanes (in middle seats next to strangers), at the beach, at the Pearl Harbor museum while Max was in his carrier, at Disneyland, and the list could go on and on. I literally have used this everywhere & it also works as a grocery cart cover, car seat cover & scarf! Seriously-- get one, now!
After Max and I got over our hurdles, we really have had a great experience nursing. He probably took his last bottle around 8 months and honestly I'm fine with that. I know a lot of women can feel "chained" to their children because they need to be with them to nurse, but I've thorgouhly enjoyed the connection. Yes, there are times when I have to strategically plan outings and the occasional date nights around nursing times, but to me it's worth it. Breastmilk is healthy and FREE! The lesson here is: Appreciate what you have & remember it's just a stage of life. You won't nurse forever. I have already looked back at times and phases of Max's life and am shocked at how quickly it's passed. When we were struggling with nursing, I remember thinking how hard it was. A few months later I looked back and realized it really passed so quickly!
Max eventually transitioned from nursing every 3 hours to nursing 5 times a day with solid foods at three meals and now he nurses 3-4 times a day. I think another reason that we ended up having a successful time was the next lesson we learned: Have a plan! I've heard a lot of women who say they'll try nursing, but because it can be such a challenge, you need to be determined and have a plan. I read Babywise which helped me figure out when and how to feed Max and while it had its' own challenges, it was really helpful in figuring out when and how to eliminate feedings. (And also, my big sister was a huge help, of course!) I also went into motherhood with the determination to nurse. I am not saying any of this to pass judgment or make anyone feel bad, but just to encourage you. If you want to breastfeed, you should have a plan. I know there are various reasons why women stop nursing, and I get it- I do not judge you or think less of you! I was very fortunate that I did not have to go back to work, so I didn't have to worry about a timeline or pumping enough milk, and I could really figure it out with Max. For this, I will be forever grateful to my husband! (You're the best Kyle!)
Max is 15 months old now and he is still nursing. My goal was to get to 12 months, and I'm happy that we've passed our goal! The lesson here: Set a goal. So far, he doesn't show that much interest in cow's milk, so I'm just trying to listen to him and follow my mama instincts. Also, Max learned how to ask to nurse and while some people might be freaked out by it, I kind of love it! He signs "more" and says "Nur? Nur?" when he wakes up! (Trust me- it's the cutest thing)
So, there's my journey and experience with breastfeeding so far. Hopefully you found it interesting and/or encouraging! If you have any questions about my experience, I would love to answer them! Remember, while breastfeeding is natural, it isn't always easy, so I hope the lessons I learned can help you on your journey!
1. Find someone who knows more about it than you do.
2. Don't time yourself!
3. Invest in a great nursing cover.
4. Appreciate what you have & remember it's just a stage of life. You won't nurse forever.
5. Have a plan!
6. Set a goal.
