Max's Birth Story
When Max turned one recently, I couldn’t stop thinking about his birth and labor. I still can’t believe it’s already been over a year! I remember some aspects so clearly and other parts of the day are a crazy blur. I’m so thankful I wrote my birth story down back then so I can read it and remember that amazing day! Max’s birth did not happen when or exactly how I thought it would, but it happened the way God wanted it to. We planned on having my mom & sister with us and while I missed them being there, it was an amazing experience just having Kyle with me. He was my rock, my encourager & a ridiculously amazing birth coach. I truly couldn’t have done it without him. Anyways, it's super long, but here you go...
I went to sleep late Monday night, but hadn’t been asleep long when I woke suddenly at 12:50am feeling a gush of water. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I called for Kyle and he woke up. He asked me if I was sure it was my water breaking or if I wet the bed! (#pregnancyproblems) We were both so shocked because we weren’t expecting Max to arrive until later in May!
While sitting in the bathroom, I started rattling off all of the things I hadn’t done yet and wanted to do before the baby was born. I was going to get a prenatal massage, a pedicure, finish packing our hospital bags, get Maternity photos done, etc., etc. … You know, all the important things! After getting over the fact that this was happening much sooner than expected, we started to contact some important people who we wanted to be with us during Max’s birth. (For those of you who don’t know, we live in California, but my entire family is in Lancaster, Pennsylvania!)
My sister, Stephanie, was our incredible Bradley Birth instructor & we planned on having her with us as our doula, BUT, she was in Florida on vacation with her husband and four kids. I gave her a call at 4am her time and she answered by asking, “Are you in labor?!” We talked about labor and her travel plans and she told me to sleep. I tried but did not have much success. I was too pumped up about what was happening. Kyle was able to sleep and I may have fallen asleep briefly, but not much. Looking back now, I wish I would have organized all our hospital bags, but I thought I had more time. Luckily, I had a list on my computer of all the things I still wanted to add, so Kyle used that to finish packing later. Around 2am light contractions began.
At 3:40 am, I called my dad to let him know what was happening. I specifically remember talking through a contraction and telling him that they weren’t bad yet because I could still talk! I asked him to try to come to California. My mom was in Dubai (she’s a flight attendant) and I knew she would land in Dulles and get on the next flight to California. I texted TJ because he, Brooke & June were flying to California the next day for a planned trip for walk in love. (& Brooke was going to do my maternity photos which turned into Max's newborn photos!) I told him to call me as soon as he woke up and when he did I said, “Hey TJ, so you need to bring your own car seat for June because my water broke and I probably can’t pick you up at the airport today, sorry!”
Around 7 am, Kyle woke up and my contractions were starting to get a little bit more intense, but they still weren’t super consistent or long. I had been tracking them on my phone the best I could while he was sleeping. I didn’t really fall asleep but might have been zoning in and out a little. I decided to take a shower and then a bath. While I was in the shower, Steph called again and we decided that it would be best for her to get on a flight rather than be available the whole time on the phone. I wanted her in California ASAP. So, she set off with AR (who is 3 months older than Max), leaving her husband with their three oldest kids for their last day in Disney World. My contractions were getting more intense, but were still manageable. I was rocking my hips a lot to deal with the discomfort. After I had showered, I took a bath. The contractions were fairly easy to manage in the bathtub. During this time, my mom had woken up in Dubai and got our messages that read, “Don’t freak out but my water broke.” We were able to Skype her and had my Dad on speaker phone who was in the car with Brooke, TJ, June & Nick, driving to the airport. My mom was helping my dad get listed on his flight. Steph called at one point during this as well to check in. Kyle was manning all the communication while coaching me as I was in the tub, remaining calm and breathing through my contractions.
Around 9am, Kyle tried to see if I could eat anything. At 9:13 we called Dr. James’ office. Kyle spoke to the receptionist and told her that I was in labor and my contractions were about a minute long and five minutes apart. When he told her my water broke, she said, “Does the doctor know?!” to which Kyle calmly replied, “No, that’s what we’re calling for.” Dr. James got on the phone and Kyle told him my water broke around 1am. Dr. James, our amazing and hilarious doctor, said, “Thanks for not waking me up!” He heard me laboring a bit in the background and said, “That sounds good. I’ll call the hospital and let them know you’ll be coming in an hour or so.” At some point, I tried to labor on the couch and eat again, but I wasn’t able to eat much at all. My mom Skyped me again to see how I was doing. She told me later that during our first Skype session she wasn’t sure if this was all really happening because I was so calm, but by this second time she knew how serious things were because I needed to concentrate much more. I was basically ignoring her on my computer and eventually had to say goodbye and continue focusing on my contractions in the bedroom.
After 10am, more of the contractions were longer than a minute and they were ranging from 2-5 minutes apart. Between contractions, Kyle was packing. I remember shouting to him when contractions were starting and he would run back to me from whatever he was doing! Around 11:30, contractions were consistently closer together. At some point I took another shower because I was sweaty! Labor isn't called labor for nothing. I remember vaguely thinking that I wish I could put makeup on and do my hair, but there was NO way that was happening! You know, I had this vision that I would be one of those flawless beautiful women who look so peaceful and calm right after their baby was born. Yep, didn’t happen for me. (That’s why there aren’t many photos included in this birth story.) After showering, I got back into bed and did most of my laboring on my side. I had my music playlist on and Kyle there coaching me. One of the main things that encouraged me was Kyle saying, with awe in his voice, “You’re doing such a good job Sam. You’re doing so good.” I could tell he was impressed by me and even though I felt I might not have been handling them like a champ, his reassurance helped me so much!
Around 2pm, we made the decision to leave for the hospital. It was definitely a little chaotic since we weren’t fully packed before I had gone into labor! TJ, who got to our apartment that night, told us it looked like we had strings attached to everything in the apartment and knocked it all over in our rush out! I remember grabbing water bottles, snacks, a strawberry smoothie, way too many pillows, bags, etc. to leave. I also remember thinking about the emotional signposts I should be looking for. (Something we learned about in our Bradley classes) Both Kyle & I weren’t totally sure we should leave yet since we knew we wanted to get there almost ready to push. (It was extremely important to me that I had a natural birth and did not want any pressure from the hospital to have any sort of intervention if things weren’t happening quickly enough.) I remember thinking, “I’m not totally doubting myself and I’m not completely confused,” but the contractions were hard and close together so I wanted to get there. I also thought about the adrenaline rush that slows labor and contractions but that did not happen to me, at all. Kyle told me later, he wasn’t sure we should go yet but we did! On the way to the car, while holding every pillow I owned, I had another contraction. (I promise you don’t need to bring that many pillows to the hospital!)
As we drove, I absolutely hated the sun. It was too warm and too bright. Why, California, why?! I remember having a few hard contractions during our twenty minute drive. When we got to the hospital there was no parking near our entrance. Since it was just the two of us, I did NOT want Kyle to drop me off and go park the car. I didn’t know a lot of things at that point, but I knew I didn’t want to be separated, so we drove around to find parking. When we found a spot, I grabbed all the pillows again (seriously, too many pillows) and Kyle had his arms full with our bags, camera, & the kitchen sink. Walking to the emergency doors, I had a couple contractions and was feeling a lot of pain. When we got to the front desk, they asked if I wanted a wheelchair but said it would be about five minutes. Five minutes was apparently too long for me to wait, so I said no. Again, God only knows what I was thinking. I was definitely in transition. In the hallway, I dropped to my hands and knees during an intense contraction. Kyle was right there, coaching me through it. We finally made it to the admitting desk of the women’s center where I had another contraction. Leaning over the desk, I vaguely remember people talking about my contractions. Someone asked Kyle if it was our first baby, said I was doing a good job, and told us a wheelchair was coming.
Then, I was wheeled to the triage room. I have another vague memory of seeing a woman calmly laying on a bed and her husband and young child were there too. I knew in the back of my mind that my baby was probably coming before hers. She was me about 6 hours before! The next day, a nurse told me that I scared the little boy because of how intense my contractions were and I won’t lie to you- I had lost my modesty, so who knows if my hospital gown was providing full coverage at that point. Whoops, sorry Kid. (But seriously, don’t bring your young children into the triage room… you never know when a crazy laboring woman will walk in!) The nurse put the EFM on me and checked me, which was VERY painful. I was 8cm dilated, at 0 station and 90% effaced. Kyle and I got the sense that most women show up much earlier than I did because they rushed me to a room and Dr James told us later that they made it seem that the baby was falling out of me!
In our room, I told Kyle to give our nurse the birth plan and we got settled in. I positioned myself with all the pillows to continue laboring. I had about two more hours of contractions. Dr. James wasn’t there when I got there, but when he arrived he checked me. As always, he was super calm which was wonderful. I had definitely been struggling to remain relaxed during those last few hours of contractions. Kyle was constantly reminding me to breathe with my stomach and it was really helpful to be reminded of it even if I didn’t always do a great job with it!
Our nurse, Christine, was super great. She tried to put the EFM on me multiple times and I sort of argued with her about it. I hated having it strapped to me. For whatever reason, it felt so uncomfortable and really bothered me, so she would just hold it on my stomach to listen to the baby. I don’t know exactly how long I had it on, but I do remember throwing it off me a few times. Don’t worry, I apologized to her later! I tried laboring in various positions for a bit and threw up not long after we got to the hospital. At some point, I remember hearing Kyle ask, “Is she in transition?” to which the nurse replied, “Oh yes!” I would guess that I was in transition for the last two hours or so of my labor. I definitely had some double peak contractions and I recall saying, “I just want a break.” I also kept asking, “Where is he?!” and “When will he be here?” to which the nurse would calmly reply, “He’ll come when he comes.” Kyle said, “That’s what you always say!” I’m pretty sure God picked that nurse just for me.
Around 4pm, Dr. James came back in to check me again. He said I could push. I didn’t have an overwhelming urge to push, but when I was able to push it did change the feeling of the contractions. I am pretty sure I tried pushing in every position possible, but just wasn’t able to find one that I liked. Ultimately, I pushed with one foot against Christine and one foot against Kyle in the traditional position. I struggled a little with holding my breath long enough and the nurse and Dr. James would encourage me to keep pushing and hold my breath longer. After I had probably been pushing for almost an hour and a half, they helped me by counting while I held my breath. They also gave me an oxygen mask to use for a little and said the baby was a little tired. Dr. James then gave me one end of a rag to pull against to help me push harder. After our first contraction like this, Dr. James said, “Wow, she’s strong!” because I was pulling so hard. I wanted to meet Max already! I probably pushed like this for 15-30 minutes. It was quite a group effort! Never would I have guessed that my baby would come into the world via tug-of-war, but hey- you gotta do what you gotta do.
After pushing for almost two hours, I was asking, “Where is he?!” again. When he was crowning, I dropped the rag and held my legs. Christine told me to reach down and feel his head and said, “That’s your son! That’s your son!” I felt him and smiled, but I told her how tired my legs were. She said, “I know you’ve been doing this for a long time but you’re so close now.” After his head and shoulders were out, Christine told me to open my eyes and Dr. James said, “Grab the baby, grab the baby, Pull it out!” and I reached down and pulled Max out and brought him to my stomach/chest. I was so overwhelmed with love for both Kyle and Max. It really is indescribable. I thanked Kyle as he continued to rub my head and kiss me. I was so happy and so relieved that we did it. Our baby was here at 5:54pm after 17 hours of labor.
After pushing for so long, Max’s head was super cone shaped and even Dr. James exclaimed, “Look at that noggin!” He compared it to the crystal skull from Indiana Jones and even took a picture! Kyle and I laughed at his crazy head, but he was perfect and beautiful and took our breath away. Max was crying so loud, it was music to my ears. He got a 9 on his Apgar test, only losing a point for color. Kyle & I enjoyed our Golden Hour with Max before the nurse measured him. That hour was amazing and I loved bonding with Max. We did skin to skin and I tried to nurse him. He had a lot of mucus, so he didn’t nurse well at the beginning, but he eventually got the hang of it! I just kept telling him over and over how much I loved him. Kyle & I celebrated with our glass of orange juice (a Bradley tradition).
That noggin! (Don't worry, Max has a beautiful & perfectly shaped head now!)
Max weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and was 20 inches long. My dad, TJ, Brooke & June arrived around 8pm, right when we were getting ready to move rooms. TJ was the first family member to hold Max! Steph arrived not long after them to meet Max with AR. My mom arrived the next morning after flying 24 hours to meet Max!
It was an amazing experience and definitely surprised us! Labor was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it was totally worth doing it naturally. Max was healthy and alert when he was born and so was I, albeit a bit exhausted! We were happy to meet Maximus Maverick Burns a few weeks early and I was grateful he came when he was ready and that I didn’t have a ten-pound baby! Max's birth day was one of the best days of my life and I am so grateful for our experience and so proud of what this little Burns family of mine accomplished.
