Potty-Training Max

I share a lot of things online, but I purposefully chose to not share that we were potty-training Max for a while.  One of the reasons I did this is because I didn't want a ton of pressure.  Once your kid turns 2, people start asking if they're potty-trained and when the answer is "no," you can sometimes be the recipient of those looks.  You know what I'm talking about.  There seems to be a huge pressure to potty train as soon as your kiddo blows out the candles on their second birthday cake, but I am a firm believer that you need to wait until you and your child are ready.  All children and parents are ready at different times.  (I really do not think you need to stress about sending your child to middle school wearing a diaper!  They'll figure it out eventually.)  I also wasn't that bothered by diapers and didn't feel a personal pressure to get him out of them.  

People also love to give potty-training advice whether you ask for it or not.  (Here's looking at you Target Cashier!)  Now, don't get me wrong, some advice is necessary and good, but I think too much advice can be a bad thing and can be super overwhelming. There are people I go to when I need parenting advice and there are some great Mom groups and Facebook forums that ask for and offer great support.  I asked a few friends some potty-training questions here and there and have talked to my siblings and parents about it in the past.  A while ago, I googled and found all sorts of articles and things online like "How-To Potty Train Your Kid in 3 Days" or "The Foolproof Guide to Potty Training" and the list goes on and on.  There are times, though, when I think the best advice to take is your own.  Your own mother/father instincts are what's best for your child and different tips and techniques do not work the same way for every kid.  I didn't want to put pressure on myself, Kyle, or Max that we were going to accomplish potty training in one weekend! (If you did that-- that's awesome!)  I just wanted to figure it out together and on our own time.

Now you might be asking yourself, "Sam, why are you sharing your potty-training story if you didn't want to hear anyone's advice or tips?"  It might seem silly, but I just thought I would share our experience, but I'm promising nothing.  (Sorry... are you still reading?) I know I didn't re-invent the wheel or anything cool like that.  I don't think we did anything groundbreaking or revolutionary while potty-training Max, but I definitely wanted a place to write it down for a few reasons.  One- I will want to remember what we did for Max when it's Micah's turn.  Two- One day when Max has kids, if he asks how we did anything like this for him, I would definitely have forgotten the details.  And Three- I never want to forget the ridiculous things he said while potty-training like, "Wow! So many poops Mommy!" 

So, if you want to hear a little about our potty-training experience, read on.  Maybe you've had a similar experience or maybe you're dreading the day you have to potty-train your kid, like I kind of was, and just want a slight heads up on what's coming. (What's coming is poop on the floor, and a naked toddler running around.  Don't say I didn't warn ya.)  Here we go!

When Max was around 15 months old, he pooped in the potty for the first time.  I was super excited and thought, "Wow, I have a child pooping prodigy on my hands!"  I didn't.  He was interested in the potty for a little while, probably because of the promise of M&Ms.  After a little while, he was over it and wanted nothing to do with the potty.  We would ask him if he wanted to sit on the toilet, especially if we could tell he was doing his business, but he would say, "no" and that was fine.  I contemplated trying to have him potty trained before Micah was born, but ultimately decided that it wasn't worth the struggle.  To be honest, I think it was easier having two in diapers at first versus having a newborn and a newly potty trained toddler.  I didn't have to worry about getting him to the bathroom before nursing and you're definitely quite tired with a newborn, so why add another stress?  Kyle and I didn't mind having them both in diapers, and that's what mattered most.  I also wanted to make sure we weren't traveling for a while before we started!

Max turned two at the end of April.  In July, we started talking to him a little more seriously about potty training.  We are fortunate because Max communicates extremely well and we're able to hold relatively normal conversations with him.  We would ask him if he wanted to go to the potty or stop wearing diapers and wear big kid underwear.  He said "not yet" and "soon," and again- we just tried not to put too much pressure on the situation.  We "officially" started potty training him in August.  (Making him about 28 months old.)  It sort of started by accident because I had ordered some Cars underwear from Target and when Kyle opened the package, Max saw them.  He was pumped and wanted to put them on immediately.  In fact he wanted to "wear all of them" at the same time.  So, the journey began... 

Getting Prepared

I quickly got the rest of our supplies ready in the next day or two, so we could go all in & ditch the diapers (during wake times anyways.)  We made sure to be fully stocked up on groceries, so we didn't have to run any errands during the first few days/week.  We also stocked up on stickers from the Target dollar bins, I made our first potty chart (More on that in a bit), and stocked the bathroom with baby wipes & clorox wipes, lots & lots of clorox wipes.  He had his stool set up, so he could climb up to the toilet which has this seat on it.  I chose to skip the little potty on the floor route as a personal preference because I just wanted Max to use the toilet right away.  I didn't want to transition him to the regular toilet later.  I've heard a variety of pros and cons to both, but chose what I wanted for us!  ("You do you!" as Kyle always says.)  Max is also obsessed with his step stools, so I knew he would like climbing up on his to get to the toilet.  If you've followed our instagram stories, I'm sure you've seen Max jumping off his various stools.  We also have a big exercise ball in the bathroom to sit on while we give the kids baths and it was awesome having it there while accompanying Max to the restroom.  We sat there a lot, so I enjoyed not crouching or sitting on the bathroom floor!  I also covered a portion of the couch with trash bags & beach towels that became Max's designated spots.  Thankfully, most of his accidents were on the floor or highchair, but he did have one on the protected couch! 

Max's Aunt Brooke made these amazing "Great Job Pooping" banners and I'm pretty sure every toddler's bathroom should have them.  He really did do a great job pooping!

Our Reward System

Max is obsessed with Disney's Cars, so it didn't take long for us to figure out that he responded well to earning "cars with eyes" as he calls them.   When Micah is ready to potty train, I might try to find a cheaper prize, but seeing Max light up as he earned his cars was worth every penny!  When we were transitioning Max to his "big boy bed" we used a star chart where he needed 10 stickers and I could tell it was really hard for him to work for a prize that far away.  It was just too much for his two-year-old brain, so I decided to make a tier system for his potty training rewards.  I also put pictures of his rewards on the chart, so he could see that with each sticker he was getting closer to a car.  I started the potty training chart with only 5 stickers equaling a prize.  He got one sticker for peeing and two stickers for pooping.  His next chart needed 10 stickers, then 15 stickers, then a "Potty Party" when he went a week without an accident.  This is probably the best piece of advice that I would give from our experience.  I definitely think it helped him because he was able to earn rewards relatively quickly at the beginning and he didn't get frustrated or give up because the reward was too far away.  With anything in life, there's a learning curve, so it made sense to make his goal bigger as he got better!  During the first few days, he averaged 2-3 accidents a day, so it took him a little longer to get all of his stickers.  When we moved to 10 stickers, he would sometimes get a little upset and want his car immediately, but we kept encouraging him that he was getting closer and closer and he liked seeing the picture of the car he was working towards.  After he had his first no-accident day, I told him that once he went a whole week without an accident we would have a "Potty Party!"  I totally made it up on the spot, but figured I would make something up when the time came.  More on that later... 

Our Method

We didn't really have a specific method, to be honest.  We didn't give Max an excessive amount of juice or water or have him sit on the potty for hours.  I would ask him often if he had to pee and watch for signs.  We didn't use Pull-Ups or special training pants.  He wore regular underwear or was naked, a lot.  I wasn't looking forward to potty-training, but it really wasn't that bad.  All in all, I'd say it took about 2 weeks and by the 3rd week, he was going accident free constantly.  I think the most important thing was waiting until Max was ready.  If we would have tried sooner, I think it would have been disastrous.  Waiting until he was excited about underwear and able to fully communicate definitely helped the cause! 

Accidents

Like I said above, he had about 2-3 accidents a day when we first started.  Whenever he would start peeing, I would take him to the potty as quickly as possible whether or not he was finished because I wanted him to know that he needed to go to the bathroom.  One piece of advice I heard from someone somewhere (sorry I can't credit you!) was not to say "It's okay."  I didn't want to make Max feel bad, but I wanted to communicate that peeing on the floor was something we wanted to avoid.  I would say things like "Aw, I wish you would have peed on the potty so you could get a sticker" or  "next time tell me you need to go, so we can get to the bathroom in time!"  One of the funniest accidents Max had happened while I was working out.  He was watching a movie on my laptop while standing by the couch.  I looked over at him and saw a little "present" on the floor.  "Max, what happened buddy?!"  He looked down at the poop, then looked at me with the sweetest little expression and said, "Mommy, I pooped."  (Captain Obvious.)  I couldn't even be mad.  (Thank God for hardwood floors!)  Because of accidents, we did not play in his room for the first week at all.  I wanted him on hardwood constantly so I didn't have to clean the carpet.  We planned a lot of activities in the family room.  We did crafts, colored, did puzzles, and watched too many movies!  I would let him in his room for brief periods of time as he had less accidents!

Being Naked... A Lot

When my older sister was potty-training my nephew, we would Face-Time them and he would be naked.  I always thought it was hilarious, but it really is practical.  First of all, it saves on laundry because you aren't constantly washing clothing and underwear.  Secondly, it makes getting to the bathroom quickly much easier.  At the beginning, speed is of the essence.  

Not to be weird, but Max loves hanging out in his birthday suit.  We have to explain to him that when people are coming over or we're going out it's mandatory to wear underwear and pants! It's hilarious & sometimes frustrating to be wheeling and dealing with a two year old about getting dressed.  Anyways, one day I could only get him to put on underwear by putting a pair of his underwear on Micah.  He thought it was hilarious and immediately wanted to match her.  These photos are ridiculous and amazing and will forever be some of my favorites.  Will they love them when they grow up?  Time will tell...

Going Out in the Real World

I think one of the things that helped us potty train Max was staying home for a while at first.  We did have a dentist appointment scheduled, so we stuck a diaper on him for that, but besides that we stuck to underwear.  The first outing we took was probably day 4 or 5.  I told him he couldn't pee in his carseat or at the store and I think I asked him if he had to go at least 50 times.  It was a short trip and we were back home within a half hour and were accident free.  Woo!  With anything, it just took a little time and we slowly eased into normal life and normal outings again.  One of the reasons I was dreading potty training was because diapers are so convenient and easy.  It takes a bit of a mental shift to remember the potty everywhere you go and public restrooms are the worst.  It really isn't that bad though and once everyone is ready, it really doesn't take that long!  I was super impressed with how quickly Max figured everything out and am so proud of him.  I won't lie, it's also a little sad though because he's so grown up now!  Speaking of being grown up... 

"I'll do it all by myself, Mommy!"

One thing that happened way sooner than I anticipated was Max going to the bathroom all by himself.  I figured it would be a long time before he was ready for this, but one day I was nursing Micah and he had to go, so off he went.  It was amazing and I couldn't believe how big he was!  He couldn't reach the bathroom sink and soap alone, so we had to buy him a new stool.  We headed to IKEA and got him a super high stool and then his very own foam soap.  He was ecstatic!  It is "his soap" and "his stool" and he loves them both, very much.

He doesn't always go by himself, but when he does it's amazing.  I can't help but be so impressed with him.  The other night, I was nursing Micah before bed and Kyle was busy doing something.  He wasn't sure where Max was and called out for him.  Max responded, "I'm in here daddy!"  He had taken off his pajama pants and bedtime diaper and was sitting on the toilet all by himself like it was no big deal.  It was hilarious.

The Potty Party

Like I said earlier, after Max had his first accident-free day, I was so proud of him and promised a potty party when he went a whole week!  His last accident was about 3 weeks after we started!  I don't expect him to never have an accident again, but I can pretty much assume that we're going to be okay.  (I still have a backup outfit packed for now though!)  We kept talking about the potty party and he was so excited.  He had finished his last chart, so I still wanted something for him to look forward to and it worked.  After his week, we got him balloons with his two favorite things: Lightning McQueen & Stars & Bars!  (Thanks Dollar Tree!) We also got special ice cream and cones and invited his friends to the pool to join him.  There was a little confusion about why we were having a "Potty Party" and his friends kept saying we were having a party because Max pooped in the potty!  It was spectacular.  His two closest friends at our apartment are older than him and were so proud of Max!  

He also recently got his haircut & looks even older.  I'm a blubbering mess.  LOOK AT HIM!

Naps & Bedtime

I kept Max in diapers for naps and bedtime for a while because it didn't seem worth it to worry about washing sheets yet.  He kept waking up dry, so we just recently ditched diapers during nap times and so far so good.  (Finger's crossed!)  At nighttime, we still keep him in a diaper even though he stays dry more often than not.  We tried one night to let him sleep in underwear and it didn't end well, so we decided to not worry about it again for a bit.  Although, the last few nights he woke us up because he needed to go to the bathroom at 2 am.  (Thanks Max! ha!)  I know there are different pros and cons to different methods here, but with a 5 month old who's relearning how to sleep without a swaddle, I'm gonna lighten my load for a bit and stick to diapers at night until we are all ready!

Max's Best Potty Quotes

Kids really do say the most hilarious things.  I'm so thankful I wrote these down because I never want to forget them.  Ever.

Watching himself go to the bathroom, "Whoa!  That's a big poop!"

"Mommy, there's so many poops!"

Flushing the toilet, "Bye poop!  See you in twenty years!" (No idea where that came from!)

Pointing at his Lightning McQueen underwear, "When Micah gets bigger, SHE will wear these underwear!" (Because I always show him the clothes she wears of his!)

Sitting on the potty, "Mommy, Am I your hero?!" (I always told him he was my hero when he peed on the toilet, ha!  Too much positive reinforcement?  Never.)

"Ohhhh, what did I eat?!" (When looking at what he left behind...) 

Asking him to get dressed, "No, I just wanna be like this naked." 

Anytime he is playing with toys and then needs to go to the bathroom, "I have to go to the potty! Can they watch?!" And then he sets up all his toys on the counter to watch him.  Strange? Very. 

If you read this far, I hope you enjoyed hearing about our potty training adventure!  If you've gone through it- Congratulations  If you're currently going through it- You've got this!  If you're waiting for it to happen- Don't worry; it really isn't that bad.  Remember, you too can have a potty party!