How I Had A Natural Birth
With the end of my second pregnancy approaching, I've been thinking about labor and birth a lot. I had an amazing experience with Max, which you can read about here, so I can't stop wondering how this time will be similar or different! After I had Max naturally, I had a few people ask me "How did you do that?!" Now, I'm not saying I'm special because I know tons of women have natural births, but I will say that I am proud of myself & those other women for doing so. I couldn't, however, have done it on my own. So, I thought I would share 5 of the reasons that I was able to have a natural & wonderful birth experience in the hopes that it might encourage you!
I am not passing judgment on any woman who chooses not to have a natural birth, nor am I going into detail about why I had a natural birth, but if you're thinking about having a natural birth, these might help you figure out how you can do it because you can!
1. My husband, My coach
Kyle was my rock during labor and delivery. If you read my birth story, you would see that he was a HUGE part of the reason I was able to handle the pain. During our childbirth class, which I'll touch on later, we were both trained on how to handle labor and we read "Husband Coached Childbirth" by Dr. Bradley. Kyle comforted me, helped me relax, reminded me to breathe and loved me through the whole, crazy, challenging experience. I could tell he was impressed with me and he kept telling me I was doing a great job and it was the most amazing thing to hear. He was so proud of me which made me proud of myself and confident in myself. Kyle kept reassuring me that I was doing great and that we would meet Max soon. As we got closer to pushing, and through transition, I was having a really tough time staying relaxed and calm and he kept reminding me to breathe with my stomach and it was a huge help. I'm not just saying any of this to be cute or romantic, I literally couldn't have done it without him by my side, rubbing my head and encouraging me. Husbands have a HUGE, HUGE job in labor and even though it's not as physically hard as what the woman does, I think it is just as important. If you're pregnant and preparing for labor, make sure your husband prepares too! One of the first things I said after Max was born was, "thank you" to Kyle because he was incredible & I'm still thankful for what he did for me.
Less than 24 hours old in his amazing Dad's arms
2. I was educated.
Having a baby is a pretty huge deal. It's not just something you should enter into blindly. Not learning as much as you can about birth is kind of like not going to any classes or studying and then showing up to your final exam and hoping for the best! Thankfully, my sister, Stephanie Atteberry, is an amazing Bradley Birth Method teacher, so I already knew a decent amount about pregnancy and childbirth and knew who to turn to to get educated. (If you live in the Lancaster, PA area and need a childbirth instructor or doula, you should definitely use her!) I was also fortunate enough to witness her 4 children's births and I'm hoping I'll be there for baby number five!
Anyways, there's definitely a lot of different childbirth classes and books out there, but the Bradley Method is the one I know, so it's the one I recommend- highly! It is a 12 week program with a handbook, and a few extra reading assignments, so it might seem daunting, but it is so worth it. It teaches you everything you need to know from proper nutrition to the stages of labor & how to deal with contractions, pain, and more. There were multiple times during my labor that I was so thankful I knew what was going on. I've heard stories of women being freaked out and scared because they didn't understand what was happening to them. There are "emotional sign posts" that you learn about and I distinctly remember assessing my own emotional signposts throughout my labor. I specifically remember thinking about them when deciding when to go to the hospital. (As I talked about in my birth story, it was really important to Kyle and I that we not go to the hospital too early to avoid unnecessary interventions or pressure.) "I'm not sure if we should go, but I know confusion is a sign of transition, so maybe we should go... but I don't know! I also know women's adrenaline rush can slow contractions when they decide to go to the hospital, but that's not happening to me... I don't know!" Those were actual thoughts running through my mind as we decided whether or not to leave. Being somewhat confused and unsure made me realize it was the right time because that was a signpost to look for. (Turns out we left at a pretty good time because when we got to he hospital I was 8 cm dilated, at 0 station and 90% effaced... if you educate yourself, you'll know what all that means!) Another time I was thankful for my education was when I threw up at the hospital. (Pleasant, I know.) I thought to myself that I was so glad I knew that was a normal sign of transition and not a sign of something being wrong! Knowing signs of transition helped me realize I was getting closer to pushing and helped me cope with the pain because I knew the end was near-ish. It was helpful that Kyle was educated too because he knew when I was in transition and knew we were getting closer by the way I was dealing with contractions. I cannot overemphasize enough how important educating yourself is. I could have easily let the pain scare me or overwhelm me, but I knew how to deal with it and knew what it all meant and it was empowering.
My sister, Stephanie, our AMAZING birth instructor, left her family vacation in Florida early to fly to California & met Max a few hours after he was born (with Alton!). She was the first person we called after my water broke and we discussed what I should do. While she traveled with Alton, she was on the phone & FaceTime with us since she couldn't be there as our doula. I could hear her encouraging me while I labored!
3. Knowing it's what women were made to do.
Barring any complications, which I thankfully did not have, women are made to have babies naturally. Before I was even pregnant, I always knew I would have an unmedicated birth. Countless women have had babies without epidurals, so I thought, "why not me?" My mom had multiple natural births, my sister had multiple natural births, and I just knew I could too. It was as simple as that. I don't want to come off as judgmental towards anyone who uses medication to deal with pain in childbirth because I understand there are many, many reasons to do so. It just wasn't for me. Ultimately, the most important thing is a healthy baby and mom, so I am all for anything that gets you to that point. Again, I just knew for me- I could do it, so I did it. I had a friend ask me, "Okay, so what's your plan if you really do need an epidural? When you say to Kyle, 'I know I said don't give me the drugs, but give me the drugs!'" & my reply to her was, "I don't have one. I'm not using them." I wouldn't say I'm normally some super strong, determined person, but for this- I was. Not having an "escape plan" so to say really kept me confident in my decision and goal. During transition, I do distinctly remember thinking, "I totally get why women get epidurals, but I still don't want one." Again, I'm not sharing this to boast and brag, but it does make me immensely proud and you can feel the same way too! You CAN do it.
We did it buddy, we did it.
4. I'm scared of the epidural.
I do not like needles. I hate having blood drawn. I can't watch when I get a shot. So, the thought of a giant needle going into my back FREAKED ME OUT. I was way less scared of childbirth than the epidural and what could possibly go wrong. I know there are many times when epidurals have no negative side affects and everything goes perfectly, but I also know there are serious risks and complications that can arise. I was more willing to deal with the pain of pushing a baby out of me than dealing with a giant needle going into my spine and the possible negative outcomes. I also knew my recovery & Max's transition into the world would be better. I was exhausted after having him, but I remember feeling really great the next day. I felt WAY better than I had a few days before when I was SUPER pregnant!
Going home & feeling pretty great!
5. God.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) There's no doubt in my mind that God helped me throughout my pregnancy, labor and birth. My labor surprised me by happening when it happened, with my water breaking as my first sign, but it went really well and I know God was watching over me. I definitely cried out to him a few times while dealing with the pain and I couldn't have done it without his strength and love. I also think he had the timing all figured out because we thought my parents and sister would be there, but it ended up just being Kyle and I. For our first laboring experience, I think that was perfect for us because Kyle stepped up and coached me amazingly. I don't know if he would have done anything differently with more people there, but I do know that it was perfect with just us. I fell in love with Kyle even more for what he did for me and Max. (No offense Mom, Dad & Steph... I do hope you make it in time this time! ) So, thank you Jesus for watching over me.
Our perfect baby who arrived at the perfect time. Thank you Jesus!
Birth is a beautiful & natural thing that I am so fortunate to have experienced. I am so thankful for God, my husband, my sister & every other factor that contributed to my wonderful labor and birth. I won't lie and pretend it was easy- it was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I've never been more proud of myself than I was after I had Max. I am looking forward to another natural birth experience. (I would love for you to pray that we don't have any unforeseen complications!) If you're considering having a natural childbirth, I hope these five factors motivated you because if I can do it- you can too!