The End of my (First) Breastfeeding Journey
A few months ago, I wrote about my experience with breastfeeding Max. It started out kind of rough, but ended up being wonderful. You can read that post here. It's somewhat bittersweet, but our breastfeeding time has come to an end. I thought I would share about it to hopefully encourage you mamas out there to listen to yourself and your baby when it comes to when and how to stop nursing. Spoiler alert: I cried more than Max.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was excited that I was still able to nurse Max, but had no idea how long it would last. I had heard of other women whose milk dried up when they got pregnant, or who couldn't even get pregnant until they were done nursing, but I was very fortunate that this wasn't the case for me. Max was still nursing about 3 times a day, in the morning, after his nap & before bedtime. (I do want to point out, however, that he didn't nurse to sleep, I always put him down awake and then he fell asleep on his own.) It was fairly easy to drop the after nap nursing. I would just distract Max with toys or a snack. He probably asked to nurse a few times, but there were no tears or sadness for either of us.
After our most recent trip back east, Max's sleep was off a bit and there was a stretch of time where he was waking up in the middle of the night and would cry to nurse. For the first few days, it was just easier to nurse him because I was guaranteed more sleep that way, but I knew I couldn't let him develop that habit of needing to nurse in the middle of the night when he was that old! So, with Kyle's help & some perseverance, we had to just let him cry it out and within two or three days he was back to sleeping through the night. (I know a lot of people have a problem with the cry it out method, but it has worked successfully for us and Max has always woken up every morning extremely happy to see us no matter how much he cried the night before. Thank you Babywise!)
Anyways, we continued nursing twice a day for the next few months because thankfully I still had milk and just wasn't ready to stop. I had been getting Max in the morning when he called for me, brought him to bed to nurse and then Kyle, being a saint, would get up with him and feed him breakfast and let me catch up on a little more sleep. (As a pregnant mom of a toddler, this was a LIFESAVER. Note to all husbands: do this for your wife whenever you can!) One morning about a week or two ago, (Max is 18 months now), Kyle got Max in the morning and didn't bring him to me to nurse. Max asked for me a few times, but Kyle just distracted him with the offer of eggs in his airplane plate and he was totally fine. I've gotten him a couple mornings and he has still asked to nurse, but I just say no and we decide what kind of breakfast to eat! It was sort of amazing how easy it was. I wish I had some life changing advice for other moms out there, but I think Max is pretty amazing and we are very fortunate!
A few days after I stopped nursing him in the morning, we were out past Max's bedtime with friends. He fell asleep on the way home and we simply transferred him to his bed and he slept through the night for the first time without nursing! I wasn't sure if this was a fluke, but the next night, we tried putting him down like normal except I didn't nurse him. He cried for a few minutes and I jumped in the shower, so I wasn't tempted to get him too early and by the time I got out he was asleep. Cue the tears... my tears. It hit me so suddenly how fast Max is growing up and how big he is! I literally just sat there in my robe crying for probably 5 minutes because my little baby didn't need me anymore. Pregnancy hormones? Maybe. Kyle just giggled at me and told me everything was going to be okay, which it was. Max did wake up about 30 minutes later and cried again, but I had literally just poured myself a bowl of cereal (definitely pregnancy hormones) & so I couldn't get him immediately and before I finished my bowl he was asleep. The timing of my cereal was a total coincidence, but I think it was essential for me to let Max cry it out and fall asleep on his own. On night three, he fussed a little when I put him down, then found Worthington & his pacifier (which we'll have to work on weaning from in the near future) & fell asleep. After that, it really wasn't an issue at all, amazingly.
I think the key here was that we changed nothing else about his bedtime routine. We turned off the light, turned on his music, he gave his dad a hug and kiss and then I hugged and kissed him, put him down and said goodnight. Approximately 1 minute later, I'm enjoying some quality time with Kyle and Max is settling himself down to sleep.
Again, I wish I had some amazing advice, but I think the key was to wait until Max and I were ready and having Kyle get him in the morning and distracting him. I also think Max being a "Babywise Baby" helped us because he has been trained to fall asleep without nursing. Mostly though, Max is a very easy going child and so happy and calm. I KNOW we were very fortunate with how easy this transition was. Kyle and I keep talking about how lucky we are to have Max!
I'm so thankful that we had such a smooth transition and while I miss the time spent with Max, I know it was the right time for us to stop and it's not like he's heading off to college. He really does still need me! Ha! I also knew I wanted a little break before nursing baby number two. I know some women tandem nurse their newborn and toddler, but I knew that wasn't for me, so I wanted to give Max time to adjust. (Hopefully he won't get jealous when he sees his younger sibling nursing!) Originally, my goal was to nurse Max for 12 months and we made it all the way to 18! I am so glad we ended up having such a wonderful experience and I hope the same will be true to all of you! I know I am very fortunate that I was able to nurse as long as I did, but I'm also proud of Max and myself for working hard to make it happen! Go us! Here's hoping baby number two figures it out right away and we have another awesome experience!
And he still loves me!